Romantic comedies make dating look alarmingly magical. A few perfect dates in and it’s time to get married, but that’s not realistic, is it? We know what you’re thinking, aren’t these ‘Two Guys’ married? Well, yes, we are – but we owe it all to being happily single! Every time people say to us “I wish I had what you two have” – we both smile. We smile because of all the experiences you could have in life, it’s completely okay to put romantic relationships on the back burner. First and foremost, it’s so important to be in a committed relationship with yourself, because chances are there’s a better version of you that you’re working towards. Spend time with that human and love them unconditionally before allowing someone else to be a part of your life. As cliché as it may be, RuPaul said it best: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Put you first, and then you’ll suddenly find space to allow someone else into your little world. Then, conveniently, that person will somehow find themselves drawn to you… trust us. It’s a whole universe thing. You’ll see.
My husband and I are each other’s person through and through, but we also know how crucial it is to just be true to yourself and still maintain your own identity, especially when in a relationship. Long before we knew each other, we both spent many years of our lives losing ourselves while being involved in toxic relationships. When we first met, neither one of us wanted anything to do with commitment, oddly enough, and yet that’s when it came to us in the absolute best way. It was so unintentional and carefree that it was honest, and it was blunt. By the time we both caught on to the fact that we had feelings for each other, they were much deeper than either of us realized. Sure, we were dating, but neither of us had any expectations or put any pressure on ourselves. The beginning of our relationship was organic because neither of us were trying too hard or worrying about messing things up. We were both putting in the same level of energy, and it’s because neither of us were “looking” that we got exactly what we were looking for.
So now back to you, how does that translate? It’s actually pretty easy. Sit down, figure out what you want for yourself, and go live your best life! Be afraid of absolutely nothing – except maybe spiders. That’s a valid fear. Burn your house down and move. Otherwise, take risks, travel to new places, and try new things. The worst thing that could happen is you realize that you simply don’t like whatever it is you’ve tried doing. You’ll be much happier with yourself for doing it anyway before you find yourself trapped in a relationship having no idea who you are at the core. Don’t let age get in the way of this journey, either. Don’t say you’re either too old or too young for something, because it’s simply not true. Don’t compare yourself to people around you and what they have, because their journey is exactly that – their journey.
Sometimes, the best travel companion is you! Go see places by yourself. And don’t tell yourself you can’t afford it, either. Pack a backpack, some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and go stay in a hostel for a couple of nights somewhere. If you want to make it work, you will. This isn’t the time for excuses. You don’t have to go to Indonesia for three months alone, start smaller than that. Go to dinner or a movie, spend time dating yourself first, and getting to know who you are. Take a little road trip or weekend getaway, or even just a day to pamper yourself. You don’t necessarily have to “Eat. Pray. Love.” it – just hang out with you because you’re awesome! You’ll be surprised by how much there is to learn about yourself.
Now, we’re not advocating for the single life forever, but just learn to be independent, so when you find your person, you can continue that journey along and be authentically you. If your person is out of town, go out and have fun! If they’re not okay with you living your life to the fullest, you’re with the wrong person and you need to run anyway! Maybe you don’t want to go out without them, that’s okay, too. You’re not looking for someone who completes you, you’re looking for someone who complements you. Your significant other should be someone who adds value to your life. That’s right, we’re Marie Kondo-ing it. Does this person spark joy? No? Get rid of them. Life is too short to be anything but happy.
So as we enter coupling season, do yourselves a favor – catch flights, not feelings! Don’t go chasing someone simply to have a relationship because you’ll end up annoyed or heartbroken, or both. Take the adventure you’ve always dreamt about. You’ll get to a point where you are finally happy with yourself and where you are in life. You’ll be grateful for what you have and yet at the same time, grateful for what you don’t have. And sometimes, when you least expect it, someone will walk into your life and add value to your journey. You never know where your life will take you. Say hi to your seat mate on your next flight, they could be the one! Or, they could be a weirdo. Feel it out. Trust your gut. But sometimes you get lucky.
The cabin is pressurized. The air is dry and stagnant. There’s very little space to breathe let alone get comfortable for a moment. You’re likely working alongside people you barely know, or you might even be working alone depending on the type of aircraft you find yourself on. At the end of this incredibly long day, you may end up in a slightly run-down airport hotel with just enough time to catch a few hours of sleep. But, on the other hand, you may end up in a luxurious hotel with a comfy bed (or two), endless hot water that you aren’t footing the bill for, and maybe even a beautiful beach nearby in some exotic destination. This is the life of a flight attendant. People often see crew members and say, “I’ve always wanted to do that. It seems so exciting.” Well, it definitely has its ups and downs, but is it lonely? Hardly. Whether it’s a new coworker or passengers on the plane, we meet hundreds and hundreds of new people each and every day. While most people you encounter are strangers and continue on being strangers, some of the people you meet become friends, or in our case, husbands.
There have been a lot of articles circulating the internet lately about the lonely life of an airline crew member. Stories include being away from your family during the holidays, missing important events for loved ones, and struggling to maintain normal everyday relationships. While these articles contain a lot of truth, many flight attendants consider some of these “difficult” aspects to be some of the best parts of the job. Whether you had a long and busy day of flying, you have a lot going on at home, or even a spouse and kids to juggle, that down time on a layover by yourself can be an invaluable opportunity to recharge. Most people think it would be impossible to have kids and fly for a living. While that may be true, we certainly know a lot of incredible moms and dads that make it work. It can be be challenging, but I think any parents out there could agree that a night in a comfy hotel room away from a hectic household would be much-appreciated.
Imagine this scenario for a moment. You just finished an incredibly long day (or night) of flying. You walk into a nice hotel room and it smells fresh. The sheets are crisp, the towels are white and fluffy, and the balcony off your room overlooks the Eiffel Tower. You can relax, take a hot shower, explore the area, or do absolutely nothing and it doesn’t matter one bit. Sometimes we all need that downtime to refresh and rejuvenate. Escapism may not be the healthiest way to live your life, but we all crave a good getaway from time to time. Being a flight attendant allows you to do that guilt-free all while getting paid. This is, by far, one of the greatest perks of the job and definitely not a disadvantage for all of us.
As for anyone in a relationship or attempting to be in one, trust me when I say I know how it feels. You’re probably rolling your eyes while reading this because we are a happily married couple, but both of us previously struggled with relationships. If you’re dating, trying to build something meaningful when you’re constantly on the go can prove to be challenging, but far more worth it than doing so in a conventional way. In our case, we met while leading completely different lives and living hundreds of miles apart. Because of that, we had to put extra effort into seeing each other. Somehow, with a little bit of fate and a lot of hard work, we both knew that the other person was someone we wanted to spend more time with which made things a whole lot easier to work out in the long run. If you have to spend hours on a plane, drive countless miles, or spend all of your free time attempting to see someone – and actually enjoy doing it – then they might just be worth your while. The caveat, of course, is that you have to make sure the effort is reciprocated by the other person. Nobody wants to be caught up in an unrequited love situation. We’ve all been there.
For those of you already in a relationship, issues of trust and communication come to mind immediately since you most likely spend a great deal of time apart. If you and your significant other are the kind of people that can talk about anything and everything, and trust that the other is on their best behavior while on the road, then you’re golden. Plus, they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. You might just enjoy missing your significant other a little bit every now and then. The constant struggle of dating and relationships may seem to be a disadvantage of the flight attendant lifestyle, but if anything, it proves to you that what you’re doing is worth it and you have indeed found the right person. This same idea can be applied to your family and friends. Ultimately, the people that matter most will understand that you love what you do and they’ll work around it. If you’re lucky, they’ll go the extra mile to show you how important you are to them. Whether it’s driving to the airport in the middle of the night to see you or even moving a holiday around to accommodate your schedule, you’ll quickly learn who’s in it for the long haul.
Many people think of flight attendants as overworked and lonely, while others see vintage glamour and an exciting lifestyle. As with most things, being a flight attendant is what you make of it. Every job has its advantages and disadvantages. While some may let the loneliness of the fly life affect them, others thrive off of these little moments to appreciate what they have and all that life has to offer. Not every layover may be glamorous or exciting, but a little down time in the crazy lives that we have built for ourselves is often just what the doctor ordered.